A Perfect Plan

The last few weeks have been crazy. Andrew was sick with RSV, I got the adult version, my grandfather passed away, we went with my Mother to Maryland to pick up my Grandmother.. well actually, we picked up her ashes and toted her to Florida for a final visit (morbid, I know :)) while we tied up my grandfather's affairs, and tomorrow we head up to New York for the funeral.
Andrew took his first ride in an airplane and loved the sand at the ocean. He's grown so much in the last few days, finally getting control of his hands. There are no words to describe the joy I felt when he first got ahold of the toy on his car seat and made it crinkle. Pride. I am blessed to have a healthy, intelligent baby. I know many people aren't able to experience these simple pleasures. I also know that many people aren't able to recognize these blessings.

Losing my grandfather hasn't been easy. As with Steven, I wish he could have met my little stud. This is yet another reminder to live every day to the fullest. Never wait until tomorrow to do something you could do today.
I am understanding more every day that God has a plan for me. A perfect plan. On the flight to Florida, I was seated next to a perfect stranger. After some small talk, I discovered that he is a Superintendent for a mine in WV. He knew of my husband's accident and agreed to take me underground for the purpose of better understanding the production in a coal mine. I believe doing this will help me to better fight and make changes for the benefit of other mine employees. Ironic? No. It's more than ironic. I was supposed to meet that perfect stranger. My grandfather put me on that plane. Steven put me on that plane. GOD put me on that plane!

I do find myself laughing, sometimes. Steven had a ton of respect for my "Pop-Pop". I can still hear Steven saying, "is your Pop-Pop going to dinner?" Hilarious to hear a grown man saying. He used to joke that he just knew my grandfather was in the Mafia. Pop-Pop's name was Don. He always had his hair gelled back, wore a bulky gold ring on his right hand, was slightly shorter than most men, and spoke with a stern New Yorker accent, on top of driving a luxury vehicle at all times. I imagine, they are laughing about it in heaven. I know they are both there, with the rest of our loved ones. Waiting, on me to finish my work on Earth, or God's work rather.

"Pray as though everything depends on God. Work as though everything depends on you." -Saint Augustine

Call Me Geo...

Just before Steven passed away, he was looking for a new work car. The old work car had taken it's last breath and he was temporarily driving my brand new Jeep to the coal mine. If you've ever been near a mine, you know how filthy they are and it's the last place you want your new car to be driven. We had discussed a budget and I was annoyed with the subject. He knew I was tired of taking the Jeep to the car wash and it was becoming a regular argument, but he was struggling to find a decent vehicle. Long story short - the issue was weighing heavy on us both.

You have to know the above information to understand tonight's story:

One morning, Steven came in from work. I was getting ready for the day and he was getting ready for bed. Out of the blue he says, "You know, you're like an old work car." Not knowing exactly where he was going with this statement, I replied dryly, "Uh huh? Explain." He continued on, "You know.. you're like an old work car. Your miles are getting a little high and it's time to trade you in on something a little newer." As you can imagine, I wasn't amused. Steven continued on, "You don't buy a work car thinking it's going to be your life long companion... you just buy it to use for a little while. When it starts falling apart, you get something else. And every now and then, when you are out looking for a Cavalier, you get lucky and stumble across a good deal on a Corvette." At this point, I likely said something along the lines of "Cool it" or "Take it easy." I was sitting on the edge of the bed, rubbing lotion on my ankles. They were swollen due to pregnancy and I guess Steven saw an opportunity to keep going. The next words out of his mouth were, "...and it looks like you need a new set of tires."

I have to admit, I was amused. He was always picking on me and I liked it. I guess it's the way I was raised. My Dad has always picked on my Mother in the same way. I remember Dad telling Mom she was asinine a couple years ago and Steven laughed for days over it.

Anyway, the conversation had ended and after thinking about it, I went back in the bedroom and said to Steven, "You're a real asshole, you know that?" Without missing a beat, he responded, "Yeah. Well. You're a Geo Tracker!"

"Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it bigger."  - Allen Klein