Never Surrender

I'd like to say that I am humbled by the support that my son and I have been given, but humbled is not a strong enough word. Even today, more than a month after the accident, we are still receiving cards and gifts in the mail. Deposits are still being made into his savings account (which will be transferred to a trust fund as soon as his social security number is established) and I cannot even begin to keep up with my facebook page.

The one thing I keep hearing over and over is that my supporters admire my strength and find me to be an inspiration. I have always considered myself to be a strong and independent woman, however I'm not sure where my recent vitality comes from. Perhaps, having a child whose livelihood depends on me, plays a role. Perhaps, I learned from my father that sometimes, in the midst of agony, a good joke can change the spirit of an entire room. Or maybe, just maybe, the Lord gives us exactly what we need. What if in the bigger scheme of things, I am being used to make a difference in this cruel world? What if my entire purpose is to bring another person to Christ or to improve an unsafe work environment? The way I see it is I can mope around, focusing on the things I don't have and the things Andrew will never experience with his father.... Or I can get up and get on with the day. What it comes down to is my own happiness or lack there of, because at the end of the day Steven will still be gone and there is nothing that anyone can do to change that.

"Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength."    -Arnold Schwarzenegger